Hot Chocolate & Towels.. Harmless Harm
It seems as though,
As I continue to grow,
And develop, spiritually...
Profound wisdom presents itself to me,
More and more...
In the form of little life lessons.
Otherwise forgettable, yet!
Seen with clear eyes,
Felt with an open heart,
These moments are deep as the Cosmic Ocean,
Beyond my own depths.
And sometimes I manage,
To fathom my experience,
Where otherwise I might be
Here is one of those moments.
Lesson: We cannot control how others respond to us, nor what they think of us. Sometimes harmless acts do harm, and one's happiness is another's sorrow. For this, we must forgive ourselves, and only strive to do better, and become more aware.
I was on a mission: To make the most delicious cup of hot chocolate — ever.
I had just come downstairs after sleeping in late. My father was in the kitchen and had just finished preparing a toasted bagel with butter and cheese. When the area was clear, I began my own work...
The leftover coffee from the morning brew.. Coconut milk.. Rice milk.. Half & half.. Cacao powder.. Maple syrup.. Cayenne pepper.. Pink rock salt... Yes. It was all coming together perfectly. I was just stirring in the cacao when my mother came upstairs with a stack of towels, placed them to the side, and asked me to bring them up to her bedroom for her. I said yes, of course. She had to carry Keegan, our little dog, upstairs, because he has been having knee problems, the old cutie that he is.
I finished my masterpiece, and it was steaming hot and ready to be sipped. I had the intention of sipping it while working on Hypnosis for Relaxation 1, which is to be my first released hypnosis recording, and is not yet done at the time of my writing this. On that note, the empty mug which once contained the most delicious hot chocolate rests atop my desk to my left. I drank it all before beginning this article, and it was, indeed, The Most Delicious. I digress.
I was on my way up the stairs, mug in one hand and a bottle of water in the other, when my father asked if I am going to call the collision place about the free detailing they offered me due to the longer than expected duration of the service on my car a few months ago. I paused, my brain whirred a bit, and I said I will do that today. I reached the top of the stairs, entered my room, closed the door feeling ready to get to work on audio editing, and immediately after heard my mother call my name, then give a perturbed sigh.
I had forgotten about the towels.
"Always thinking about yourself," she said in a huff on her way downstairs to collect them. In the moment I defended myself by saying my hands were full, but really, I had indeed forgotten about them. And upon finally taking my seat at my desk, this simple series of totally normal events coalesced within my being, and crystallized into a gem of wisdom...
I cannot control how others respond to me, nor what they think of me. Sometimes harmless acts do harm, and my happiness is another's sorrow.
This is only a translation, and the best I can do. For the real wisdom was felt, not thought, and occurred at a deep place in my soul. No words, only knowing.
I was thinking about myself, yes! And this was not a bad thing, because I was absolutely absorbed in creating the most delicious hot chocolate ever! And it was! It was very tasty. However, I had forgotten about my mother's request, and, in doing so, caused harm. Not much harm, though still harm. Could I have been more considerate? Yes, of course. In hindsight, this is easy to see. Would I change how things happened if I could? Maybe... But then I would not have learned this lesson. And here is where the second part comes in...
I must forgive myself, and only strive to do better, and become more aware.
This is all I can do. What has happened, has happened. The same lesson has presented itself to me in other forms throughout my life, sometimes in much more dire situations, involving much more harm. I wish only to be grateful for these lessons, especially the ones which come more gently to me. And I welcome new knowledge, new wisdom, into my experience, ever lighter, ever softer, with the understanding that even the most important life lessons need not be learned the hard way. Thank you.